More Motivation

My confidence has been almost non-existent for a long time now. A lot of it has to do with the systematic stomping of it by Little Caesars over a couple years and showing my work to people who are just … well, the wrong people. I make every effort to not try being funny because I’m afraid of looking stupid. There are a few people… I hear their voices in my head no matter what I’m writing or doing and they’re all telling me that whatever I’m working on sucks for whatever reason. I’m afraid to write anything meaningful because I’m afraid of some a–hole saying it seems kneejerk or shallow because of my political or religious beliefs in which case I think whatever I’m doing is just a waste of time.

There’s that and the fact that I beg people to read stuff I write and no one has any interest. I beg my teenage daughter to share her stories and poetry with me and she has no interest in letting me see it. I should have known better than to have girls – just more of them around me to reject me.

However, the “school” script I’m working on … that – and the cadet I exchanged some emails with – really lifted me up and I keep getting great feedback on something else I wrote. I wrote this stupid little post on my Facebook “blog” and sent it out as a mass email about something that happened the other day and people keep telling me how funny it is. Marci Karp, a girl who was in many of the early movies I did for Little Caesars (none of hers are on here – not for any particular reason, they just aren’t), told me I should write “or something.” She wasn’t the only one … but … it’s all been nice to hear.

I’ve been succumbing to repeated thoughts that Florida will be just another place I’ll fail but today is a bit better (I just woke up, though, so who knows). Maybe my wife is right, maybe the sunshine will make me feel better.